Stories From the Bahamas

After four days in the sun, I am outrageously and severely sunburnt. I mean, I am R-E-D, red. I am redder than Texas during a presidential election. I am so red that I could be South Korea’s number one fan in the world cup just by being shirtless. (Be the Reds!) Washington’s football team has changed their name to the Frank’s. Crayola just called to inform me that my skin mixes with blue to make purple.

True story.

But worse than the color, my skin has the texture of a leather couch from the eighties. And my burns are radiating heat the way the seats would after some 400lb guy has been sitting on it to watch the entire Lord of the Rings trilogy - with alternate endings. My shoulders are burnt the worst and whenever I move my arms, I have mental images of browned fallen Autumn leaves crunching under a heavy shoe.

And the pain! On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being barely noticeable and 10 being severe, it is a solid un-effing-believable. For the sake of credibility, I am the guy who consistently describes having the tip of his finger torn off at the bone as “meh, it kinda hurt.” It is like the pins and needles of your foot falling asleep but for three straight days and every once in a while, the pins are like needles and the needles are like broadswords.

So all in all, considering the sun damage that has now turned into sun blisters, my trip to the Bahamas was absolutely, undeniably, unequivocally …… fantastic. Yes, all hyperboles aside, the visit was awesome and even with the second degree burns, I’d do it again. My experiences were amazing.

For example, the water park there had this body slide that was four stories high and during the initial drop, you literally catch air. When you blast out of the tube at the bottom, you’re going fast enough to skip on the water’s surface.

The skies were an incredibly soothing blue, like pepto bismol for your soul. It was like God hadn’t invented clouds yet.

I also got to snorkel in the Atlantic. But, you wouldn’t even need a snorkeling mask to see the fish because there were schools of fish just hanging out in the tide. If you walked in so that just your legs were in the water, they would swim by and brush their surprisingly soft smooth and somewhat oily bodies on you.

Another incredible moment was standing in the tide drinking a Guinness and smoking a cigar. This actually turned out to be not as relaxing because whenever the tide came in, I had to break my gangster pose - arms folded, chin up, slight scowl - to abruptly raise the beer and cigar high enough for them to stay dry.

But yes, even with the sunburn, I would do it all over again. If every time I went there, I would get burnt the same way, I would gladly take the trip. The pain is worth the pleasure and I would not forgo the pleasure to avoid the pain.

And I realize that it is the same with law school. My grades do burn quite a bit, and this time, I’m even redder in the face. But I think the experiences I’m having and the things I’ve learned, whether it is actually about the law, or about myself, or whether it is the good times made by even greater people (pssttt that’s you guys, fellow contributors), make the journey worthwhile.

Plus, next time I go there, I’ll just try harder not to get burnt.